Champagne Hangover

Wow, I got stinkin drunk last night!       Champagne drunk!

I put together an amazing surprise engagement party for my brother M & his new fiancé R. I am so excited to be able to call R my brother’s fiancé; our family adores R and is so excited & happy for them to be engaged.

I got DRUNK on my lovely bubbly champagne. I danced, all kinda sexy, for my boyfriend D. I visited with all the party people and drank shots and laughed my head off.

It’s really funny that the best party i’ve EVER been to was this weekend, not when I was in high school, or college. I think I was too young and not confident enough to really let myself be free & uninhibited until recent years. Aren’t you supposed to have wild & crazy party days in your teens and young twenties? Though it figures that I would do things a little backwards :). Or maybe it’s a misconception that youth = gaiety, maybe it’s more accurate to say maturity = knowing yourself well enough and being happy with ur life to be truly content & fun-filled.

AND plus getting good n stinking drunk once in a while is a BLAST & totally worth the day-long hangover!

1st House Visit

I’m super excited my brother M is visiting tonight!!

He will only be here for enough time to sleep on the way to a Colorado vacation but I Don’t Care!!

This is the first overnight visiter since D & I bought our first home 6 months ago. I don’t get to see my brother much and I am very happy and looking forward to seeing him & his girlfriend R. In fact I will tell you on the DL ;), my brother M will be proposing to R while they are on vacation. Now they have been together for more than 9 years & my entire family loves R, she is amazing! R is a sweet girl who puts my brother in line; which he def needs. M is a bit unmotivated in terms of  getting a good job & figuring out how to move on after his university graduation. Thank goodness M has realized that he needs to give R a symbol that he wants forever with her.  He is going to take her up on a hot air balloon and propose with a beautiful diamond ring. His plan sounds very romantic and a very special moment for the pair of them! I am so proud of M for making this step and I wish them the world of happiness and love together.

On a side note, I didn’t realize that I would be nervous and anxious showing off my new house to my brother. He is the last person who hasn’t seen it and he has such a cute, decorated apartment. I really want him to think my house is nice (which it IS!!) and clean and cutely decorated! It’s funny that someone’s opinion can matter to me so much even though I am near 30. Maybe we always need the approval of our loved ones to make us feel good.

Daisy dies too young

This has been a sad week for me. A high school friend of mine dies last Monday, we’ll call her Daisy. She died at only 30, far too young and too beloved by everyone she knew.

How a young healthy woman can be killed by a cancer within 6 months of diagnosis is beyond belief. This is my second friend from from high school to pass away and although the first, “Sunny” was 12 years ago, I have never forgotten and now to have another death to grieve, it’s just so sad.

She married J right after high school. I was a doubter and didn’t think the union and marriage would be good or last. I fully admit I was wrong, they were the most devoted couple I have ever met and I really don’t know how her husband will live the rest of his life without her. He was in love with her since childhood and the greatest day of his life was marrying Daisy. I worry about how he will cope. He sobbed through the whole funeral and just seemed so broken by losing her.

I worry about my friends who were the closest to Daisy after high school, I am so sad that they lost such a caring friend. Daisy was the most caring person, always having time to attend your kids birthday parties, come over to watch movies, go to the park and was quite selfless, always helping people.

It’s sad for the world that Daisy is not here anymore because she made this world a happier, kinder and more caring place.

fighting all week with D

I really hate fighting with D. All lat week it seemed all we felt like doing was fighting over everything. We have since calmed down. Very happy bout that.

D, and I suspect, men in general, are terrible at expressing their feelings. They bottle up their feeling til they explode it’s super annoying and frustrating. I have heard the whole women & men are from different planets thing. Not that I’ve read the book or anything. Is is stupider to bottle up your feelings to hide them from the world or to be overly emotional about everything? Is there not some happy medium that can be reached where D & I can both share feelings in a rational and healthy way. Maybe that’s only attainable thru couple’s therapy or something, learning to change the way we express ourselves. To change ourselves to have a healthy way to communicate.

Though to be honest, I am quite content with the Me, I am now. I really have no real intention or desire to change myself in any major way. Maybe eating less cookies would be good and to clean my house a bit more, and Yes, to go back to school and create a new career, but in terms of how I see myself and the outside world, I am content. Well, see the world and re-act to it i guess. I compare the pre-divorce/ pre-25 me to the current ME and It’s ridiculous how much of a healthier and happier and more self-confident person I am. Is it completely egotistical to think that only D needs to change & i’m just fine :)? Yah, I really do know the answer to that, even as I am asking it. VERY EGOTISTICAL OF ME lol.

Well we are fine now and the last week full of battles is def a minority in our house, so i guess I won’t worry about it for now.

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