lost in a rant

Fuck looking for a job! I want to quit work and stay at home and do nothing. That would be great! someone tell me how to make that happen. or to have a job i like but pays well and i don’t have to work til 10pm and every freakin weekend!!! uggg

What I don’t get it these people who know EXACTLY what they want to do for a career. I don’t have a clue, there is really nothing that really jumps out at me that I know is “right” for me. I mean I can see myself doing lots of things and being good at them (I am moderately intelligent) but really none of them speak to me. maybe because they are so intangible.

But I say AGAIN fuck this job search where people want to pay you less than 22,000 yr to work a job you have 4yrs experience in, where they will pay you (4 yrs experience) and the other person (no fuckin experience) the same thing bc that is just RIDICULOUS!!! I mean I fuckin get-it, if they can hire someone cheap they will especially in this bad economy, but really…

So maybe i’ll go back to school, begin a new career and pick one that makes decent income. Great, except the same problem I am ambivalent about all jobs. I don’t WANT to work a job. I take a lot of personal pride in being good at my job; feeling successful and that is very important to me. it’s not that I don’t care what I do for a living, but I just don’t know how to choose and make such an important decision. I guess I’m scared I’ll fuck up and not like it or be able to get a job in my field. I need a direction, a path, I have no idea where I am going in my career and it scares me so much to feel so lost within myself and my life.

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